My Sincerest Apologies - and URGENT MESSAGE!

What a catastrophe - to have allowed MY esteemed newsletter to miss a deadline!

I had promised you dear readers a magnificus every two Mondays and I have FAILED to deliver!

It is now TUESDAY. An entire day, awaiting my posts!

I am ashamed. I am a bird of my word. There are many fabricated stories I encourage my clients to tell the public in order to secure their great wealth and power at the expense of public health and ecological stability - but THIS errant behavior is inexcusable!

I humbly request your forgiveness.

Now - back to the business of locking in power with money so that the public continues to pay the risks and funds the costs of our lavish lifestyles.

Friends, it has come to my attention that the public is NOTICING.

They are noticing our strategy for using money to capture power in governments. A podcaster by the name of Aaron Ping created an entire episode unraveling the system such as the Powell Memo - THE sacred bible of oligarchic power!

As a young fledgling oligarch consultant, I have fond memories of perusing the Powell Memo during my annual migrations. It is the preeminent strategy of using money to buy power.

Sir Powell recognized that power - TRUE power - was necessary if corporations were to have a chance of fighting off pesky environmental regulations and activists demanding better worker conditions and etc. The GALL of these people.

His strategy was simple but brilliant: We did not NEED to honor such requests if the people stopped ASKING for them.

How? We shall make people BELIEVE that our interests alone are what’s best for EVERYONE. That the ONLY way to shared prosperity, is to funnel it to the top! In his illustrious 5-part strategy, Powell calls for mass investment into owning the narrative in all levels of society.

The college campuses will teach what WE tell them they should teach, helped by our generous support of academics who support OUR interests.

This is a magnificent stroke of genius - the young are naive and inexperienced. They don’t know any better. They’ll believe in a giant man climbing through chimneys if you tell them it is so.

Once they grow up, they will teach their OWN children to believe the same. In a few short decades, NO ONE will even question the narratives we have taught then. We shall HAVE THEM!

This redefinition of reality is so important that Powell extended it to the media.

The public will adopt the narrative that supports OUR worldview, by listening to media that we shall own and purchase! The creation of FOX News was entirely born of this effort, a proud accomplishment of our Featherbottom family’s counsel.

We shall own the political arena with heavy lobbying - applying the door-to-door salesman’s approach in Washington’s halls of power.

We shall promise Congress and its staff rich rewards and hefty salaries at our esteemed companies should they create favorable legislation in our industry. We shall donate heavily to candidates that sponsor US and ensure their victory through the power of marketing machinery. The unlocking of unlimited political spending thanks to passing Citizens United has since created a renaissance of politics fueled by money and self-interest!

Ah, but Powell does not stop there! We must REMAKE the nation into our image! We shall write the laws - or purchase those who will!

We shall buy the courtrooms and the judges, create any narrative to make corporate power appear the right rule of law on the land. The Bill of Rights protecting freedom of speech, religion, and civil rights for formerly enslaved humans? It should cover corporations as well! I can only dream what the legal proceedings must have looked like. It must have been quite a show.

And of course, there is ultimately the power of our own shareholders.

Among them, the esteemed individuals who acquire wealth not through hard work and economic output, but through simple stock transactions and financial arbitrage. Buy low, sell high. The greatest contributors to the economy! Their power and voices are mighty, and they must rise with us as well.

For we are the companies. We are the ones creating the economic growth upon which this nation depends. We alone - not the employees, the customers, the citizens whose work allows for civil society to exist - only WE are the ones who make it all possible!

Our needs are ultimate! We are the only thing that stands in the way between this nation and complete destruction!

Buy low! Sell high!

THAT is the path to greatness, and to future economic prosperity!! The ONLY way!!

Trumpet that belief everywhere! Buy up all the newspapers and digital places! Promote it in the news, feature “experts” who claim to study and understand complicated things like “technology” and “economy” who will ensure their stories line up with OURS.

Do NOT let the public get a wind of this! We cannot have more Aaron Pings out there, uncovering all the work we’ve so carefully hidden away.

Remember, this ONLY works because the public BELIEVES in it! And if it remains a SECRET!!!

The moment they start realizing what is happening, the SPELL IS COMPLETELY BROKEN! People will turn AWAY from the media and start asking questions! They will do their own research! They will start teaching EACH OTHER what they’re learning!

They will read books by academics like Howard Zinn and Robert Reich who lay out the history of how the system comes to be! They will realize WHO is benefiting WHAT and at WHOSE costs! They will start to realize their fights with each other were manufactured to keep them distracted!!

All of our decades of work, our investments into ALL areas of society, are to maintain this illusion that there can be only ONE way for society to work!

WE CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN!!

With my deepest and most URGENT of sincerities,